Key points
- A survey showed that close to 50 % of students report having exposure to an ex boyfriend.
- Individuals had much more contact if they had emotions into ex, got amicable breakups, or weren’t across the breakup.
- Whenever contact taken place since the ex boyfriend was element of more substantial friend category, anyone claimed much more satisfaction along with their most recent relationship.
- Those who were disappointed in a different relationships was indeed more likely to save in contact with exes since a prospective backup.
It is fairly preferred for people in order to maintain exposure to previous personal partners. step 1,dos But what occurs when you enter an alternative relationship? Would you take care of experience of an ex or clipped them out? Is-it damaging to your brand new relationship in the event your ex boyfriend has been that you experienced? Talking about concerns most of us is get in touch with, nonetheless haven’t been examined much of the dating experts-up until now.
In two training, Lindsay Rodriguez and her colleagues interviewed teenagers inside the intimate matchmaking to determine how frequently it communicate with exes, as to the reasons it maintain contact, and what you to definitely says about their current relationship. 3 The first investigation surveyed 260 undergraduates, have been with their most recent mate for at least a good day together with a past matchmaking that live at the very least about three days.
As to why remaining the idea of a reunion on the rear burner is difficulty
They unearthed that on the forty % of pupils stored in contact having an old boyfriend. Into vast majority (more ninety percent), which telecommunications first started inside a couple of months of one’s break up and you may proceeded that occurs at least one time most of the several months. We did not communicate with the ex too often, but a little subgroup-13 per cent-got contact with exes once or twice a week.
Who is expected to stay in touch with an ex? The more big this new reputation of your latest matchmaking (e.grams., hitched or nearly involved vs. dating), the newest not likely people were to has actually exposure to an old boyfriend. Yet not, proceeded communication having an ex boyfriend try not related so you can exactly how major the reference to new old boyfriend was actually. (This might be most likely because these members had been apparently young, so they do not have a comparable level of money you to definitely needs coming contact, such as co-child-rearing, that will occur when a great deal more the amount of time relationships separation.) As an alternative, it actually was its ideas about their ex and you may about the separation that cam chat fat predicted contact: People were very likely to keep in touch with exes they nevertheless had emotions getting. They certainly were including expected to keep in touch which have exes whenever they believed the newest break up are a great deal more confident-characterized by understanding and you can deficiencies in imply and you may freaky conclusion. In the long run, individuals who stated that these were maybe not along side break up was indeed apt to be as opposed to others to keep connection with its ex.
Exactly what implications does this has actually to have mans most recent relationship? In general, individuals who stayed in touching that have an ex had a tendency to become reduced invested in its newest partner compared to those exactly who did not, however, experience of an ex was not on the how satisfying it found their newest matchmaking.
Inside the the second study, the new experts subsequent looked how contact with exes means the quality of the present day matchmaking from the investigating man’s reasons for having staying in contact. It interviewed 169 undergraduate people from inside the relationships, just who told you it communicated which have an old boyfriend at least once most of the couple of months.
This time around, the group found a match up between experience of exes and the top-notch the present day relationships: More constant the fresh exposure to an old boyfriend, the fresh new faster satisfied members have been with regards to most recent relationships.